Beyond Connecticut
by A Writer With Mixed Interests
Summary: Takes place a little bit before, and during the alternate ending. What was Esther/Leena thinking while all this was going on? Read to find out! *Formerly titled The Thoughts Of A Killer*
1. Infuriating Battles

**The Thoughts Of A Killer**

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**Hello readers! So I've never written an Orphan fanfic, and after reading wonderful fanfics such as Leena's Escape or The Untold Story Of Leena Klammer, I decided to give it a shot, but with something a little different.**

**Summary: Takes place a little bit before, and during the alternate ending. What was Esther/Leena thinking while all this was going on? Read to find out!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! **

**Enjoy! ;D**

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I had just stabbed John, the man who I had loved so very much. Oh, had he not rejected me, I had so much to offer! I had been looking forward to the day of our wedding, and when we could make love. I would have cooked for him and done his laundry, and so on. We would have made a wonderful couple.

But now that would never be. And that bitch Kate had to destroy everything.

Right now I was slowly searching the house for Max. She would have been a great daughter if she would have stayed by me. I knew I should never taken her along to kill that nun!

Suddenly I heard the family car crash through the house. I smiled, Kate was home. I wanted her to die first.

They couldn't hide from me forever! I looked out the window of John and Kate's bedroom, seeing nothing. I started to walk away, but I went back to lock the window. Just in case.

I was walking down the stairs when I heard glass shattering, which came from the garden where baby Jessica's ashes were. With John's gun in hand, I jogged over to the source of the noise, smirking.

_Where are you, you little bitch?_ I thought, referring to Max. _I know you're out here._

I kept walking, my smirk gone, and eventually saw the plant that was shattered onto the ground. I knew that Max had to be nearby. I looked up, and lo and behold, there was Kate looking down.

I shot the whore in the arm, and she screamed out in pain. I knew she was up there! Max's hiding spot had to be nearby, since I had already searched the rest of the garden.

Soon I turned, and hiding behind a tall plant was the little girl. For a second, just a brief second, I didn't want to kill her. I remembered referring myself as Max's mommy, but that was all over.

I moved the leaves aside and was about to get to her when I heard Kate's voice.

"ESTHER! DON'T YOU HURT HER!" she yelled.

I looked up, and then I heard running. The little traitor was getting away! I fired a shot, which missed her. It only shattered another plant.

"Leave her alone!" Kate shrieked. I ignored her as I continued firing shots at Max. "COME BACK HERE! ESTHER!"

After Kate said my false name for a second time, I held the gun up to shoot her again, but she broke the glass and was falling. I let out a yell before she fell on top of me. Soon, all I saw was blackness.

When I woke up, I didn't know what was going on for a second, then I remembered everything.

"Oh, FUCK!" I swore in Estonian. That stupid piece of shit took the gun!

I stood up, wondering how much time had passed. But I was relieved to know that very little, if almost no time had passed since I didn't hear any sirens or voices.

I ran to the downstairs bathroom and grabbed a small towel. Looking around and realizing that everything was clear, I went over to John's dead body and wiped the fingerprints off of the knife, which was still in his chest.

I wiped my hands off and put the towel in my pocket, taking one last look at John's body. My eyes filled with tears as I gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"You're in Heaven now," I whispered. "I will love you forever, my John."

I would have stayed to look at John for a little longer, but I knew now was not the time when I heard sirens coming from a distance. So I ran upstairs back to my bedroom, that I had destroyed not an hour earlier.

My make-up kit that I used to disguise myself as "Esther" was still on my desk. I had the perfect plan to keep myself out of trouble once again. The blood was already on my face, which was good.

As I applied my make-up, I hummed and sang the song I always sang when acting innocent, The Glory Of Love. A stupid song, in my opinion. But it was something to help me act more like a child.

I could now hear voices coming from downstairs, so now was my time to sing.

"That's the story of, that's the glory of love. You've got to laugh a little, cry a little."

I hummed some more as I reapplied my false teeth, then went back to my make-up.

"And when the world is through with us, we've got each other's arms." There, I was done now. I closed the make-up box and went to my closet full of outdated dresses. The dresses that everyone always made fun of me for wearing.

I picked the first dress I saw, which just so happened to be the same yellow dress that I wore on my first day of school while living with the Colemans. I grimaced as I remembered that devil child, Brenda.

After I threw the dress onto my now-unkempt bed, I closed the door and removed the clothes I was wearing, a black sweater and a pair of jeans that Kate had bought for me.

I took off my shoes and pulled down the tights, swearing to myself about having to get back into one of those ridiculous cotton disasters of an outfit. But I knew that what had to be done, had to be done.

I put on the dress and applied a little more make-up, making sure that the blood was still noticeable. I brushed my hair out and looked at myself in the broken mirror.

"Okay, Leena, time to play these people for the fools that they are," I told myself.

I walked out of my bedroom for what might have been the last time. The cops noticed me and shined their bright flashlights on my face. I gave them all a smile.

"Hello, my name is Esther."

I curtsied and walked down the stairs. The cops didn't reply as they led me out of the house.

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**So, what do you think? Should I continue? Please, please review and let me know what you think! Thank you, and Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays! :)**


	2. Reminiscing and Reevaluating

**So I decided to continue this thanks to requests. Thank you so much to gothgirl97 and NoComparison for reviewing! :)**

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I don't know what Kate told the authorities, but moments later I found myself in the back of a squad car. I was told that the authorities needed information about the "intruder," which made me want to laugh. Such gullible people!

But I have to admit, I was a bit nervous, even when one of the officers cleaned the blood off of my face. I had to be careful so that my make-up wouldn't run!

We were now in a small security room. I was in a chair across from the two, may I say, attractive men. I had to do my very best not to get horny.

"So, Esther, did you see this woman? Did she try to hurt you?" an officer asked me.

Now was my cue. I swear, I could win an award for all this acting that I had to do! But I sighed, and forced tears into my eyes. I was going to use the "visions" from little Max's point of view.

"She didn't hurt me," I whispered sadly, "but I saw her kill Daddy. She looked at me and I had to run."

_That's right, Leena. Reel them in!_ I thought triumphantly.

The officers asked me a lot more questions, all of which the answers were lies. I even started to cry, but these tears were real. They were for my poor John. I really didn't want to kill him, he did so much for me when he was alive, and I just wish I could have done more.

The officers took my sadness for my "mommy" "abandoning" me, and for the fear of the false killer.

When the session was over, one of the officers, the one who was more attractive than the other, came over to me and took my hand. He rubbed my back gently with the other as I sobbed.

"Shush now, Esther," he comforted me. "We're going to get you away from here, okay? We're going to find you a new family since our group is unable to locate your mother at this time. How does that sound?"

I nodded through my tears and calmed down. At least I didn't have to see that wench and her devil children anymore!

And speaking of her devil children, I wondered if Daniel was even still breathing. I successfully killed him in that hospital, but there was a Code 99 in the ICU, so there was a chance that they got his pulse back. Damn doctors!

The officers told me that my bags were already packed and in another room, and that I would be leaving Connecticut with a social worker in the morning. God forbid if any of my bags were to get stolen!

"Listen, try and sleep now, Esther," the other officer suggested. "You can lie down on that couch over there. We'll be looking into this investigation, so we can watch you. Okay?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir."

So for tonight I was forced to sleep on a dirty, dingy brown couch by the door. But I had to be thankful, because anything was better than sleeping on a damn cot in a straitjacket in that tiny cell at the Saarne Institute.

Needless to say, I barely slept that night. And for many reasons. I couldn't stop thinking about John and Max, what I would have given to them had John accepted me. I was also worried that, if I slept, I would be forcefully woken up because the authorities had found out that I was John's killer. Another thing, who could even THINK about sleeping on a night like this?

Morning came quicker than I expected. Apparently I had actually gone to sleep sometime during the night because one of the officers was shaking my shoulder.

"Esther, honey, wake up now," he whispered. "It's time for you to leave."

"Huh?" I sat up and looked at him.

"The social worker is here for you," the officer told me. "He'll be taking you to a girls' home in Delaware."

"Delaware?" I asked. "What's that?"

The officer chuckled. "It's a state a little down south from here, but not too far."

So I got up and followed him into the room where my bags were being kept. I checked to make sure I had everything, dresses, make-up kit, shoes, everything. And it was all there. Good, I had too much shit for the bags to be stolen.

"Esther Coleman?" a different voice asked. I looked up when he said my false name.

A tall, dark-haired man wearing a dark business suit stood in the doorway. He approached me and shook my hand.

"Hello, Esther," he said to me. He shook my tiny hand. "My name is Lionel Kingston. I'm the social worker who will be taking you to Delaware today. Are you almost ready?"

"Yes, sir," I replied shyly. I decided that I was going to play the "shy and quiet child" card. "I have everything here."

"Well then, let's go," he said. He was so kind as to help me carry some of my heavy bags, and as we headed for the door, the first and more attractive officer approached me with a smile. He got down on his knees and looked at me.

"My partner and I wish you the best of luck, Esther," he told me. "We're so very sorry about your daddy. But the people at the orphanage in Delaware are going to help you find a new mommy and daddy. I'm sure you'll be very happy."

I nodded. "Thank you, sir."

This man might have been good-looking, but he and his partner were gullible, and that was for damn sure!

Mr. Kingston and I headed out the door, and he put my luggage in the trunk of his red SUV. He opened the back door for me, and I thanked him as I climbed in. I clutched my old, worn brown Bible onto my lap.

This was all happening so fast, and I could barely handle it. As we drove, I opened up my Bible and pulled out the picture of John and myself that I had placed in there for some odd reason. I guess I knew deep down that something like this was going to happen.

"My John," I whispered, kissing the picture.

"What's that, Esther?" Mr. Kingston asked.

"Just a picture of my daddy. I miss him so much now."

"Well, he's in a better place now. Away from all the horrors of this world."

"Yes, he is," I agreed. "He's in Heaven now."

I did something that I hadn't done in awhile. I put the picture of John back into my Bible and took out the family that adopted me even before the Sullivans. They were the Wallaces.

There was a whole family portrait. There was James and Hannah, and their three sons, Micah, Luke, and Isaiah. They adopted me because they had always wanted a daughter, and apparently I fit the bill.

This family was an American family, but they had moved to Estonia about a year prior to adopting me due to James's constantly-relocating job. The two older bratty boys, Micah and Luke, always made fun of my choice of dress, but Isaiah was more reserved. Though I would have much preferred a girl, I thought of Isaiah as my son. Until the little bastard told his parents about me beating another schoolchild nearly to death.

I breathed heavily, and Mr. Kingston must have heard me, because he asked me, "Is everything alright, Esther?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, sir," I replied. "I'm just angry at the person who killed Daddy."

"The police will find that person, Esther, don't you worry," the man assured me.

Wow, if only he knew that the very killer was riding in the back seat of his vehicle right now!

A bit later in the afternoon, we finally arrived at the Cabrini's Shelter For Girls in Easton, Delaware. It looked remarkably similar to Saint Mariana's back in Connecticut, except this building was a red brick.

Mr. Kingston held the door open for me as I exited the vehicle. There was a playground outside with children all around it, running and shouting. A few of them looked at me curiously. Probably because of this damn dress. There was an adult outside watching.

We walked up the stairs to the main entrance, where Mr. Kingston knocked on the door. A woman, who was not a nun (and this I was glad for!), opened the door. She was fair-skinned with brown hair and blue eyes, and looked to be around my age or slightly older.

"Hello," she smiled. "What may I do for you?"

"Ma'am, this is Esther Coleman," Mr. Kingston put a hand on my back. "I called earlier and scheduled for her to stay here."

"Oh, yes!" the woman replied. "Come in, come in!"

I followed them both inside, and the woman closed the door gently behind her.

"My name is Carly Peterson," she said with a smile. "I'm the head of this home. I think you'll really enjoy it here, Esther."

"I hope so," I said with a false smile. To me, things were happening too fast for me to enjoy anything right now.

Mr. Kingston bent down to my level and gave me a hug. "I'm going to speak to Carly for a few moments. Take care of yourself, Esther. It'll all be okay!"

I nodded, and sat down in a nearby chair as he disappeared into Carly's office. As I sat and waited, with a duffel bag on my lap, I once again pondered my future. I would be heading to my fourth family. I had caused at least one death with the previous three. I clasped my hands together tightly, trying not to put negative scenarios into my head.

I promise you, Leena Klammer, that things will all work out this time!

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**So...yeah. I hope that was good enough. :P I believe that Esther/Leena would attempt to find another family instead of plotting revenge against Kate like most stories have it. I wanted to try something a little different.**

**But enough of that now. Please review, and have an awesome night/day/whatever time you're reading this! :D**


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